WATCH THIS: Clone High

The late 90's and early 2000's saw a number of funny, inventive, more adult-oriented cartoons. Almost all of them failed, and without Adult Swim there to pick up the slack, they fell into obscurity. In some cases, this was a significant shame, as it is with Clone High. It aired for a single season on Teletoon in Canada and MTV in the US, and was then unable to secure further funding.

The animation is abysmal, but everything has sufficient character. It's the ridiculous scenarios and voice-overs that bring the show over the top. It's a long-lost gem and you should watch the entire season.



And just for fun, here's a great take on the cast from The Atrix over at DeviantArt. My favorite is easily the Principal.

Cartoon Network's Birthday

I'm sorry that I missed the celebration, but this music video is great. It highlights the surreal nature of Cartoon Network and the influence that it has had on animation in general. CN is far from perfect. They are, in many ways, just as stupid and conservative as every other corporate monstrosity. But there has always been something different about them. I don't know where it comes from. All I can say is that they are in a different league than the garbage at Disney and Nickelodeon. Happy birthday, CN.

Make sure to watch this at high resolution, full screen, with the volume turned up.

New Mysterious Cities Of Gold Trailer!

AHHHHH!!! My childhood, reborn! AHHHHHH!!!

I'm a little disappointed that they didn't go for a similar texture to the first series, and have instead gone for this quasi-CGI look. I don't mind it, and I appreciate that this modern gloss is likely to play better in a variety of markets, but the aged, hand-crafted texture of the first show was truly exceptional.

There's little to go on in the trailer, but it appears that the anime/adult edge has not been excised from the show. That was one of the reasons why I loved this show so much as kid back in the 80's, precisely because so much of it was very adult. It was wondrous to me.

Remember, that was quite new. Anime sensibilities were yet to be an American phenomenon. Robotech was three years away and Akira was five. All the US had hitherto experienced was Gigantor and Speed Racer, neither of which were paragons of serious story telling.

Similarly, I had quite a few examples in film of wondrous craft in unforgettable movies like The Dark Crystal, The Secret of NIMH, and The Last Unicorn. But television remained purely for the kids. And aside from a few pieces of pretty high quality work from Hannah-Barbera, it was purely for kids and really awful. For the five-year-old me, The Mysterious Cities of Gold was an experience.

Oh, and I totally peed myself at the first shot of the golden condor.

Legend of Korra Premiers In Less Than A Week

Legend of Korra, which has ditched the title Avatar undoubtedly because of James Cameron's abomination, premiers in FOUR DAYS. Make sure to check out their expansive internet exploration of the main city in the story, Welcome To Republic City.



I'm very excited for two reasons: one, it is a female-centered cartoon, and we don't have many of those. Two, I had many criticisms of The Last Airbender because Nickelodeon is a soulless monster run by brain-eating zombies. As such, they placed limitations on the show that shouldn't have been there and further reminded the market why little boys ran from Nickelodeon and into the arms of the Internet and Cartoon Network.

One of the biggest examples is no usage of the word "die" in the proactive sense. People have died. Characters are concerned that people will die. But at no point in the show does a character actually die, nor does any character say that they will kill someone. Everything is communicated through wan euphemisms. The character of Jet, for all intents and purposes, dies, but that is never said. The show even makes fun of itself later on, which to me was a direct mocking of Nickelodeon's restrictions on the show.

These limitations forced the show into certain narrative dead-ends. Iroh should have died. Why? He theoretically caused the deaths of thousands of innocent people in the past (the show even states that he is considered a war criminal in the Earth Kingdom), and we are supposed to feel bad about his son? There are certain Shakespearean restrictions on narrative, and there is no redemption for someone who has caused that much destruction.

The trailer for Legend of Korra, and also Nickelodeon's recent overtures to the male market with Dragonball Z Kai, give me hope that this show will have dramatic power. The Last Airbender was a better show than the new Thundercats, but without the fear of real repercussions, there was no drama. Lots of characters died, and continue to die, in Thundercats.

New Cheetara Comparison

From athletic B to a thundering D.

I have posted a full review of the new Thundercats here.

Cartoon Network is releasing a new Thundercats show. Aside from the fact that Lion-O is apparently voiced by some prepubescent 15-year-old boy, it was Cheetara that pissed me off the most. (A number of people have pointed out who voices Lion-O. I am well aware that it is Will Friedle. I looked at the cast before writing this. I still don't like the voice. He sounds like his testicles haven't formed yet, which is impossible for a man who looks like a body builder.)

Let's break down the new Cheetara in comparison to the gold standard, the actual Cheetara.


Is there a fucking chunk missing from her?! Where the hell are her internal organs? Why does she look 17, yet have breasts that would net her lifetime membership as a Playboy centerfold?

Why doesn't she look like, I dunno', a woman? A woman who is capable of doing things, like saving the day?

And this is only the beginning. They repeatedly misspell WilyKit and WilyKat in the written media.

They spell the names differently ON THE SAME PAGE.

And as WilyKit so wonderfully illustrates, having a bare midriff is apparently one of the defining characteristics of being female in modern cartoons. Just like in Teen Titans, where 50% of the female population is bare! Except for the outsider goth chick. She's the only one covered. What the fuck is this? The Breakfast Club with 25% more fiber and sexism? And notice how the females have their legs and feet posed compared to the males? Yeah.

Remember girls, don't stand too strong or you risk being intimidating to boys!

Obviously, this blog is somewhat predicated on the objectification of women, but I make it explicit, and also make sure to explicitly state that images are just that, images. Women are not actual objects, they are people! Cartoon obectification, like with Betty Boop, is fun precisely because it is cartoonish. No one has ever aspired to look like Jessica Rabbit or Betty Boop.

When we try to sell narratives to kids, we're selling a huge package of ideas, values, concepts, and images to them. If we want to sell them strong female characters, we need to sell them something that isn't so stupid-sexist. REAL women are not objects. REAL women are capable. REAL women can be strong heroes without also being sexy. When we make cartoon versions of comics for kids, we should avoid copying over the worst aspects of comic books, such as the almost comical level of female objectification and sexism.

Compare this to Harry Potter, because, why not? It's big. It has female characters. Like Hermione. Is she sexy? Does she spend all of her time in skin-tight spandex with her belly button showing? NO! Of course she doesn't! Because she is an actual character, whose values come from her actions and personality, not because she's got a flat stomach.

I mean, what the HELL is next?! Are we going to see a Wonder Woman cartoon where she's selling diet pills, or Tygra offering Ripped Fuel in episode 2?

To the creators of the new Thundercats. Thanks for ass-fucking my childhood memories. Go fuck yourselves. And learn how to spell.

UPDATE: Comics Alliance has a good article discussing the rampant sexism in comics that I see here. It's annoying in the comic book world, but it is positively infuriating in a TV show aimed primarily at children.

UPDATE: I've received more comments on this post than any post I've ever done, so please take the time to read the other comments and responses before commenting yourself.

And while I have posted a few of them to make a point, I will delete any posts that are basically just swearing at me.

Beauty And The Beast In Peanut Sauce

Apparently Thailand is famous for directly and blatantly ripping off the productions of other countries. Copyright laws be damned! The studio behind this masterpiece is so notorious that it gets panned even in its home country. Kinda' like those animated Bible DVD's you can buy in the Wal-Mart checkout for $1.

No Good Girls in Cartoons

Considering that the years just keep going by, and cartoons remain distinctly male dominated, I'm beginning to get depressed. You'd think that in the brave new world of CGI films, we'd see at least a few more female protagonists. Or, even better, ANY female that isn't the "sassy" type that drives me up a fucking wall. It's like cartoons with "'tude." Don't know what 'tude is?
This is 'tude. It's this pestilence of bad-assery that has infected cartoons. Catering to boys? Your cartoon better be oozing with 'tude to even stand a chance with the network executives. Your cartoon also better star some confident, yet otherwise strange male, with the standard arrangement of sassy girls and token minorities. Or in my example, have your only two minorities also be girls. Kill two birds with one cliched stone. (On a further note, I love how the fat one is never a girl.)

Even Pixar, with whom I'm practically involved, has never had a female protagonist. It's a fucking boys club. The closest they've ever gotten is The Incredibles. Even there, though, Elastigirl? Yeah. She's still sassy.

That's not to take anything away from Pixar's films. I love every single one of them (except for Cars) and have watched them all over a dozen times. But it should serve as a point of serious consideration for all those in and entering in to the entertainment world. Where are the girls?!

I understand that cartoons skew male. They always have and they still do. But I don't think we've ever sufficiently experimented with girl-oriented cartoons that aren't also terribly sexist in some way. It still seems like a valid hypothesis to say that girls don't like cartoons because cartoons have never been theirs. What bones to they getthrown? Jem (which became more popular with boys), Rainbow Brite, Kim Possible, and... what else? Not much. Now try and make a list of popular boy-oriented cartoons that's under twenty shows long. Just try it.

The vast majority of the cartoons have a male at the center. Strong secondary female characters be damned. The male is front and center in ever group shot. He's on all the posters. He's given the most screen time. Even children's shows are ridiculous!

Make a list of young children's shows that have a female at the center. I can think of very few. The juggernaut, Dora the Explorer, Allegra's Window, and Eureeka's Castle stick most prominently in my mind. And even Dora birthed Go, Diego, Go! Gotta' get that boy in there somehow. Other's include the likes of Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Kids, which is very much an ensemble cast with her husband spider always nearby. Maggie and the Ferocious Beast is also quite good.

Still, most of these are quite new. New as in less than three years old. I also imagine that I could pretty easily dissect these cartoons and find stereotypes being reinforced. Regardless, back to films. The thing that set me off was looking at the lineup of CGI cartoons coming out. How to Train Your Dragon? Boy. Hell, I went to the list of all CGI films ever, here, and counted the films that featured females. I counted three, four if you throw in Home on the Range, If you go yourself, you'll find such gems as Appleseed, Final Fantasy, and Kaena. I just noticed that all of the films are foreign. I'm sure that says something. The fact that all three films were also ungodly bad also likely says something.

Whatever. I've made my point. My rant is done. We need more women in entertainment and we need it yesterday. Movies, television, and cartoons are in a decade-long death spiral that shows no signs of letting up. We need fresh blood and a fresh perspective.